Pulling the trigger!

So it’s Day 11 of my cycle, with counts as follows:

Estrogen: 13,521 (3,684 in U.S.)
LH: Don’t know, but it was 4 yesterday
Progesterone: Don’t know, but it was 9.5 yesterday

The nurse spoke WAY too fast on her message for me to write down all the follicle measurements, but I have three at 2.2 cm and a whole bunch of others from 1.9 down to 1.7, which I hope are still good. And I’m officially done with Gonal-f, hooray!

On my way out, the nurse said I should pick up my HCG and then bring it back to her so she could mix it up, put it in a syringe and have it all ready to go. So I did exactly that — except instead of putting the syringe in some sort of sterile container afterward, she placed it in this bizarre silver box that looked like it might contain a fancy necklace:

HCG

Um, is it just me, or does this look kinda hack? Like, I’m technically at one of the best clinics in the country… so… really?

Anyway, I got the follow-up call from the nurse just now and she said I have to trigger myself tonight at 9 p.m. ON THE DOT, go in tomorrow morning for bloodwork, and my retrieval will be happening on Wednesday at 9 a.m. Y’all, this is FOR REALS NOW!

Now, I don’t normally get stressed about medical procedures or pill-popping or jabbing myself with needles, but honestly, I’m fucking TERRIFIED about the retrieval process. I’m so worried my high blood pressure will go off the charts and screw things up, or that the Ativan will have its usual effect on me (ie. make my body sluggish while my head is still racing like crazy), or that I’ll be able to feel the huge needle go into my cervix/follicles, or that the pain meds will make me barf, etc. The only thing reassuring me right now is that my own doctor will be handling the retrieval and he is a very calm and relaxed and positive kind of person, which I’m hoping puts me at ease.

Maybe I can bring in my iPhone, which has a White Noise app that includes “soothing” sounds, one of my favourites being “kitten purring”, which totally calms my soul. Do you think the doctor and nurses would be distracted by the sound of purring during retrieval? I guess maybe that’s what headphones are for, right? Sigh……..

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19 thoughts on “Pulling the trigger!

  1. Yeah for trigger! I get knocked out for retrieval so that’s the easiest part for me. Listening to some sort of relaxing sounds during the procedure sounds like a great idea if you have to be awake for it.

    • I know, it seems almost everyone gets knocked out for retrieval, but for some reason Aramis (It Only Takes One) and I go to a clinic that keeps us awake… almost makes me want to switch clinics!

  2. Hooray!! Congrats on trigger day!! You’ll do great in the retrieval. Nothing to worry about at all. In the states, we get knocked out (or at least my clinic did and I think most do), but I’ve heard stories from plenty of ladies who are not and it ends up being not as bad as their worries at all! I’m sure you’ll be the same, especially since you are already so tough about your injections and stuff! This is very exciting. You have tons of good follies! Just rest afterwards and treat yourself!

  3. This is so exciting! I agree – that is a weird weird box for a shot. But who am I to judge? We have an old cupcake box doubling as out makeshift sharps container! Good luck with the retrieval – I am sure it will go totally smoothly and they drugs will do teh wonders they are supposed to do!! Can’t wait to hear the numbers!

  4. Sounds like you have some great measuring follicles in those ovaries ;)

    I’d be a little surprised by that box too – looks a little… um…. questionable. HA!

    Good luck!

  5. YES! This is such an exciting time! When you say they don’t knock you out, do you mean you’re put into “twilight”? This is what my clinic uses, and I don’t remember a thing.

    Anyway, it’s going to be awesome. They’re going to suck out all those good little eggers and life will be amazing.

    Enjoy this! Weird to say, maybe, but all of this lead-up is super exciting. For me, it felt like the first time in our infertility “journey” that I felt like we were actually DOING something. Shit just got real, yo. You’re going thermonuclear war on this.

    • Hahahaha, shit DID just get real. Like, REALLY real. I totally get what you’re saying, too — it feels much more proactive than previous IUIs. I just worry that I’m maybe being too hopeful and not leaving enough room for how to cope if it doesn’t work. And yeah — this twilight you speak of sounds very intriguing… maybe I can request twilight? Or just drop a lot of hints by referring to Bella Swan and sparkling and stuff?

  6. 1) I need that app.

    2) I’m giddy with excitement for you! And also kind of nervous right along side you…but it’s a good kind of nervous. I hope you get lots and lots of eggs that all create beautiful little embryos. :)

  7. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR RETRIEVAL. That’s an order. I just had a wonky uncooperative right ovary, that’s all. I can’t wait for you to post on Wednesday about how easy it was and then the whole blogosphere can make fun of me for being a big fat pussy. And speaking of pussies, I could listen to cats purr literally forever. So relaxing!! If it was the only other sound I heard between now and the day I die, I think that’d be ok.

  8. I’m sure they’ll give you some great drugs if you aren’t going under. Trigger shots make me so sleepy! Can’t wait to hear your retrieval and fert report!

    It’s all happening!! You are doing the right thing by staying positive! You can deal with the alternative later if need be, but there is no sense in letting doubt in! :)

  9. So exciting!!! This is the best part of all! You will wake up to the number of follicles you have devotedly created, so exciting! After that you will be off the hook, the doctor and lab will do the rest and you can just chill (yeah, right?) and wait to hear more and more good news! Yay! Best of luck to you tomorrow!

  10. Don’t worry about the smaller ones, (1.7-1.9), I think those are actually the ideal size for trigger. Dr Licciardi, at NYU, has a fertility blog (or infertility rather) and he usually triggers when the largest follicle is 18 mm. I’m sure the larger ones are fine also. Probably many of the follicles that are 14mm and above on trigger day will have mature eggs in them. This is so exciting!! I can’t believe how fast this is going; I’ve never followed an IVF- themed blog from day 0.

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