Many apologies for the radio silence, gang… do you bloggers ever get into this weird mode where you feel the need to ignore the Interwebs for a while, until you reach the next “thing” (CD1, NT scan, WTF appt, etc.)? I kind of get like that sometimes, including in pregnancy, so while on the one hand I’m thrilled to be 14 weeks, on the other, I’m desperate to hit the next mark, 16 weeks, when we get results on bloodwork. So I’ve kind of ignored this space. On top of this, there’s been a wave of bad news recently… it felt for a while like there was suddenly BFP after BFP, but just as quickly I started to read of failed IVFs and miscarriages amongst some of my favourite bloggers and it was so upsetting. I can’t stop thinking about all these women going through a stage of infertility that I never had to deal with, and feeling like there’s nothing I can say to help them. Shoot, and isn’t it NIAW this week? Way to drop the ball, Me.
Anyway, I’ve also been sick (great excuse, totally using that) and busy (even better — not unoriginal in the least). We’ve decided to renovate our bathroom, which is all happening in June but requires immediate purchasing of tub, shower fixtures, floor tiles, etc. I will show you guys the before and after shots because I promise you they will be AMAZING and totes worthy of an HGTV special. Also, my cat Weeps got sprayed right in the face by a skunk recently, so much of my free time has been spent attacking her with watered-down ketchup (organic!), soapy de-skunking solution, and baking soda. Has it worked? Erm, not so much, but at least her eyes are looking better:
Look at that face! So smooshable!
In pregnancy-related updates, there ain’t much to report, other than the fact that I endured my first headache sans Advil. I actually cannot remember the last time I didn’t pop an ibuprofen when my head was pounding, so this was a bit scary. I wasn’t sure just how bad it would get, how far it would progress. I’ve never had migraines, but my eyeballs were really aching this time and I couldn’t really eat anything without feeling sick. I knew I could probably run out and buy some Tylenol, which is safe to take while preggo, but it’s never really worked for me before. Instead, I took my beloved grain-filled Sac Magique:
I warmed it up to super-duper hot, wrapped it around the back of my head, chugged some tea, lay in bed with all the lights off and slept for 12 hours. Success! Although to be honest, I’ll probably try some Tylenol next time anyway.
In the mean time, I’m feeling and looking the exact same — ie. no symptoms, not showing. This makes it all the more bizarre when I’m, say, asking a masseuse not to push on my belly “because I’m pregnant” (he was looking at me like, “She’s probably lying to cover up a weird psychological issue with people touching her stomach”), or accepting congratulations and answering questions about my pregnancy from acquaintances who’ve just found out or even strangers at a party who overheard me say something. I just get this sense that people automatically look at my belly and think, “Um, where is it?” I also find it strange to gush about my pregnancy in a group setting with other women in their 30s — I automatically start doing mental calculations to figure out the chances at least one of them is going through or has endured infertility, and usually try to change the subject after five minutes. Recently, this happened at book club, where I was getting excitedly questioned by a couple of women, but the whole time I just kept thinking about the one friend at the table who was living child-free (by choice), the other who was in her late 30s and also living child-free (less by choice), and another who had gotten pregnant at the exact same time as me and then found out she lost the baby at 8 weeks. I don’t know if this is an infertility-survivor thing, per se, but I will always be very conscious, when conversation turns to babies, that not everyone wants to talk about this for hours on end. And frankly, that includes me (seriously, I don’t need sleep-training advice just yet, but thanks!).
So — any ideas for how to smoothly segue from pregnancy talk to, say, anything else? Like, “Oh, speaking of diaper brands, I was just going to ask you about… loss of bladder control in adulthood?” Surely you guys can come up with something better than this!