Many apologies for the radio silence, gang… do you bloggers ever get into this weird mode where you feel the need to ignore the Interwebs for a while, until you reach the next “thing” (CD1, NT scan, WTF appt, etc.)? I kind of get like that sometimes, including in pregnancy, so while on the one hand I’m thrilled to be 14 weeks, on the other, I’m desperate to hit the next mark, 16 weeks, when we get results on bloodwork. So I’ve kind of ignored this space. On top of this, there’s been a wave of bad news recently… it felt for a while like there was suddenly BFP after BFP, but just as quickly I started to read of failed IVFs and miscarriages amongst some of my favourite bloggers and it was so upsetting. I can’t stop thinking about all these women going through a stage of infertility that I never had to deal with, and feeling like there’s nothing I can say to help them. Shoot, and isn’t it NIAW this week? Way to drop the ball, Me.
Anyway, I’ve also been sick (great excuse, totally using that) and busy (even better — not unoriginal in the least). We’ve decided to renovate our bathroom, which is all happening in June but requires immediate purchasing of tub, shower fixtures, floor tiles, etc. I will show you guys the before and after shots because I promise you they will be AMAZING and totes worthy of an HGTV special. Also, my cat Weeps got sprayed right in the face by a skunk recently, so much of my free time has been spent attacking her with watered-down ketchup (organic!), soapy de-skunking solution, and baking soda. Has it worked? Erm, not so much, but at least her eyes are looking better:
Look at that face! So smooshable!
In pregnancy-related updates, there ain’t much to report, other than the fact that I endured my first headache sans Advil. I actually cannot remember the last time I didn’t pop an ibuprofen when my head was pounding, so this was a bit scary. I wasn’t sure just how bad it would get, how far it would progress. I’ve never had migraines, but my eyeballs were really aching this time and I couldn’t really eat anything without feeling sick. I knew I could probably run out and buy some Tylenol, which is safe to take while preggo, but it’s never really worked for me before. Instead, I took my beloved grain-filled Sac Magique:
I warmed it up to super-duper hot, wrapped it around the back of my head, chugged some tea, lay in bed with all the lights off and slept for 12 hours. Success! Although to be honest, I’ll probably try some Tylenol next time anyway.
In the mean time, I’m feeling and looking the exact same — ie. no symptoms, not showing. This makes it all the more bizarre when I’m, say, asking a masseuse not to push on my belly “because I’m pregnant” (he was looking at me like, “She’s probably lying to cover up a weird psychological issue with people touching her stomach”), or accepting congratulations and answering questions about my pregnancy from acquaintances who’ve just found out or even strangers at a party who overheard me say something. I just get this sense that people automatically look at my belly and think, “Um, where is it?” I also find it strange to gush about my pregnancy in a group setting with other women in their 30s — I automatically start doing mental calculations to figure out the chances at least one of them is going through or has endured infertility, and usually try to change the subject after five minutes. Recently, this happened at book club, where I was getting excitedly questioned by a couple of women, but the whole time I just kept thinking about the one friend at the table who was living child-free (by choice), the other who was in her late 30s and also living child-free (less by choice), and another who had gotten pregnant at the exact same time as me and then found out she lost the baby at 8 weeks. I don’t know if this is an infertility-survivor thing, per se, but I will always be very conscious, when conversation turns to babies, that not everyone wants to talk about this for hours on end. And frankly, that includes me (seriously, I don’t need sleep-training advice just yet, but thanks!).
So — any ideas for how to smoothly segue from pregnancy talk to, say, anything else? Like, “Oh, speaking of diaper brands, I was just going to ask you about… loss of bladder control in adulthood?” Surely you guys can come up with something better than this!
I’m gonna eat your cat right in the face.
Oh gawd – skunks are the WORST. My darling dog got sprayed once.. And I traipsed her through the house to the bathroom not realizing my entire house would then smell like sulfur. And APPARENTLY skunks do this very fancy little dance before they spray, and my genius dog yet again approached a skunk a few months later and was not moved or reminded in the slightest by it’s elaborate jig.
She went as a skunk for Halloween.
My dog had an unnatural attraction to skunks. I lost track of how many times he got sprayed. He never learned. One of the worst incidents was when he found a dead, desiccated skunk and ATE IT. For days he had a combination of dog food and skunk breath. *hurl*
I’m no good with smooth segues. I just abruptly change the subject and try to turn the focus back on to the person asking the questions.
Oh. My. God. I cannot believe your dog ATE A DEAD SKUNK! OK, I feel way less bad about my situation now…
I want to nom that cat. That is a seriously nom-able cat. I don’t think I would be able to put anything called a “sac” on my body. I don’t care if it is magical. I hate the word “sac” with the burning intensity of a thousand desert suns. Maybe it’s a combination of hearing it used in a bad context too many times (the sac is measuring too small) and it being too close to sounding like ballsack. Either way it weirds me out.
Hahaha, you should hear my nutritionist friend talk about her “nut sack” — ie. the mesh bag she uses to create almond milk from scratch. ;)
Totally know what you mean about only posting at certain intervals. For me, I often feel like writing but can’t figure out WHAT to write about. As in, there’s no specific thing going on so why talk about it? I will tell you though, I miss your updates and would love more of them!
Also…what a beautiful kitty! Hers has such pretty eyes!
Too funny- I also use the word “hers” like you do when baby-talking my dog! I thought I was the only one who did that.
Hers and hims :)
I, too, feel uncomfortable talking about pregnancy in groups when I know there is a possibility that someone in the group is struggling with infertility or miscarriage, or has struggled with it in the past and is now living childfree. Besides, I’ve never had much patience for women who gush on and on about their pregnancies and children as if everyone else finds them as fascinating as their parents do, so I hear you on not wanting to talk too much about the pregnancy. I don’t want to either, because I don’t want to turn into one of THOSE people. I call them Zombie Mommies.
Yes, I also tend to post or even e-mail friends after passing comforting pregnancy milestones. I’m afraid to jinx it if I don’t wait until then!
Oh, and I always change the subject from my pregnancy by just asking the asker a question about themselves, such as “How is your… (kid, job, husband, hobby, etc.)?” I think it’s kind of obvious, but that’s okay. =)
Oooooh, zombie mommies — that’s perfect!
Your kitty is so cute!! Poor kitty and poor you guys! :-(
Some Tylenol and a little caffeine usually helps with my headaches, but luckily (knock-on-wood), I haven’t had many at all. I hope you can steer clear of anymore bad ones!
I love the part about your masseuse thinking you’re lying – LOL! You’re so funny. I bet you’ll start “popping” before long. :-) I think you mentioned being tall, so that’s probably why you’re not starting to show yet.
I’m no help with changing the subject! I know what you mean – it’s hard when people attack you with baby talk. LOL.
My step-mum, who is about five nine ish never really showed at all. She carried my brother so high even at nine months you had to know her to see that there was a bump at all. It was really odd.
I am finding my blogging mojo has faltered somewhat since finding out I am pregnant. It is rarer that I feel the need and the urge to blog. I think it is normal to go through prolific writing times and then go quiet for a while.
KITTY!!!!!!!! can’t believe a skunk got her =( Does she seem bothered by it? Peeeeyewww!!
And agreed, talking obsessively about pregnancy around people who don’t have kids… not fun for them, regardless. I even feel weird sometimes out and about in the world, like at shopping mall, wondering, surely I am walking by someone who is struggling/has struggled with infertility, and I can’t hide my bump.
Your cat is just precious! Luckily none of my cats have even been sprayed by skunk but I can’t say the same about my dogs! Yes, chatting about pregnancy is rather boring in public. Any time I managed to be pregnant I would avoid chatting about it knowing that somewhere nearby could be another infertile.
Sorry for your adorable cat!!
In a lot of ways, I could have written this post. My own sickness shuts me own into blogging silence. And then, even if I post, I try to muster up the energy to comment on other peoples’….whew. I also am not showing. Except, maybe in my ass and thighs? Ha. I keep asking my husband and he’s like “Uhhh sorry, but no.”
And the headaches. Get some Tylenol. Really do it. I don’t know if it’s purging our bodies of all other chemicals/drugs/etc, but the Tylenol seems to be working better now than it ever did before. I also like cool washclothes on the forehead and drinking lots of water. I love your Sac Magique thing (although the name reminds me of a sex toy) and I think I’ll have to get one!
Yay for someone else not showing!! I feel like EVERY preggo blogger gets their bump on as of 12 weeks except me… good to hear I have company. :) And defo invest in the Magic Bag (I prefer the French name, of course) — it’s totally natural, just full of barley, and it stays warm for HOURS!
I agree with JustMe. Tylenol never worked for me before but the few times I have taken it for a headache recently, it has actually helped. Maybe my body knows that’s all it’s getting so it just cooperates.
Well, I am showing so much that a couple weeks ago I took my cats to the vet and the vet asked me if I was pregnant. I said yes and when I told her when I was due she seemed incredibly shocked until I told her it was twins. She clearly thought I was much further along. I have a feeling that will be happening a lot. I actually had to give in and wear maternity jeans this week. It is exciting to have visible evidence of these babies but it also makes me incredibly nervous about how big I am going to get. You will be more Kate Middleton, while I go the Jessica Simpson route. :)
HAHAHAHA!!! So funny, I’ve been eyeing Middleton and really noticed that she was barely showing at all, even at 6 months… keep telling myself that maybe I’ll just go that route. Hilarious about J. Simps, though — poor girl really did balloon A LOT. The best was when she told Ellen that when her water broke, it would be like a fire hydrant exploded!
Oh Weeps! Stay away from the skunks! I also would dread not being able to take Advil…Tylenol never works for me either. Wonder why that is? Anyway, rest assured your bump will grow. I picture you as one of those tall skinny pregnant ladies who looks like you shoved a basketball up your shirt. I’m not normally a fan of the bumpdates, but when you get to that point, I want you to post pics!
I will, just as soon as I have a bump to show! And the exciting thing is, I’m taking these photos in the bathroom mirror, so you can see my stomach expand AND my bathroom look prettier as the months go by… :)
Yayy I love before and after pics! Cannot wait!
I think it’s enough that you’re just considerate of and conscious of potential infertility, so clearly you’re not gushing and bragging about your pregnancy. It’s one thing to be sympathetic, but makes sure you allow yourself to enjoy it, too. Sometimes it seems like the whole pregnancy experience gets ruined for If’ers and it’s just another notch in the unfairness belt. Not that discussing sleep-training is a particularly riveting topic.
There’s this girl at work who is still wearing her regular jeans and she’s due in August. I swear last week she had a sorta-maybe-ate-too-many-nachos tummy and this week she looks legit pregnant. Sometimes the belly just comes in overnight, so hopefully that happens for you, too.
congrats on hitting 14 weeks – though I promise not to talk about it for more than a split second lest I transform into a zombie mommy (which is a fantastic name). also, I say embrace the no-show. i’m six weeks tomorrow and already feel like I appear to have eaten six hamburgers in one sitting. anyway, we’re glad you’re back :)
good to hear from you! i have been missing your posts! sorry about your cat – eww!! and it think its good that you are being super aware of how other women around you may be feeling when you talk about your news – just shows sensitivity!
Pingback: Insight fail, data, and the next steps | lamenting the lentil