Un-birth planning, un-diaper bagging and loving that glucose!


Just to prove I don’t only wear white dress shirts and black yoga pants, here’s a photo of me at a friend’s wedding last week in Nova Scotia (yes, it’s taken in a bathroom).

A’ight, so first off, I’ve updated the Bump Pics page — technically, I’m 30 weeks but have just lied (to myself, to my baby, to the blogging world) and listed the pic as “28 weeks” because I like to keep things consistent. You may notice that while my belly is finally starting to grow and my bathroom is renovated, my frigging hair is determined to remain short. I thought pregnancy was supposed to make your hair all thick and luscious and whatever?! Ugh. Maybe I should just accept that ponytails are not in my near future.

Another note, before I get into all the ENTHRALLING updates about my uterine contents: I’ve been reading your blogs and trying to comment but stupid Open ID or WordPress will mess up 50% of the time, meaning my precious advice and witty remarks end up disappearing into an Internet black hole. So if you’re all, “What the eff, Yeah, Science!” know that I am, indeed, reading and attempting to comment (even if it’s telepathically).

Now, exciting news item #1: Someone I don’t know finally commented on my bump! It took nearly 7 months, but my god, it felt good — as soon as the waitress said, “How far along are you?”, I nearly jumped up and hugged her. Of course, it turned out that she is also expecting and therefore slightly more attuned to other women’s bellies, but I’ll take it. (OK, actually, I’m lying yet again — I did have one other person comment on my pregnancy about a month ago; it was a homeless guy in our local park who just pointed at me and yelled “PREGNANT!”… somewhat less endearing).

Exciting news item #2: I passed my glucose test! No idea what the results were, but it doesn’t really matter. And I must say, despite everyone’s warnings about the disgusting solution they make you guzzle, I kind of enjoyed it — the clinic keeps it extra-chilled and it tasted like a melty popsicle. Mmmm… glucose solution…

Exciting news item #3: Hubs and I just celebrated our third wedding anniversary. We’ve been ridiculously faithful in adhering to the rules about what gifts to give one another — first anniversary is paper; second anniversary is cotton; etc. — and your third anniversary is apparently leather. While I considered giving him the obvious gift (butt-less leather chaps), I instead played it safe with a new bike seat and a man-candle that smells of leather and cardamom. He got me some fruit leathers (I told him not to get me anything because he outdid himself last year). And we also treated ourselves to … drumroll please … a diaper bag! Actually, it’s just a regular bag that we will stuff diapers into, but I’ve been eyeing it for a while now because it accomplishes two things most diaper bags do not: 1. It’s gender-neutral, so hubby won’t feel like he’s carrying a giant purse; and 2. It transforms from a tote bag into a backpack in about one second. It’s made by this Swiss company called Qwstion; here’s a pretty picture:


Exciting news item #4: MY BOOBS MAKE LIQUID GOLD! I was sitting around the other day, picking at my nipples (as you do), pretty certain there was a tiny bit of weird yellow stuff lurking on ol’ lefty. Then I saw what appeared to be something wet on my finger. Then I did what any rational person does in this situation — I squeezed my boob, and watched in amazement as some gross snotty-looking stuff colostrum, aka LIQUID GOLD, came out. Huzzah! This can only bode well, right? Please tell me it bodes well.

Exciting news item #5: Obviously, we like to take the path less taken and avoid doing what everyone else does, even if they are being completely logical (see: excuse to buy a designer bag “diaper bag”), so we are doing something totally crazy when it comes to our birth plan. In fact, it’s so crazy that I’m a little hesitant to write about it here because I’m sure it’ll provoke horrible comments about me being a bad mother/pregnant lady. It’s a decision that I have yet to see another blogger ever make, so I understand it may be controversial, but here goes: We aren’t going to have a birth plan. (This is your time to holler profanities at the screen… I’ll just wait here for a sec.)

OK, so I know this sounds cavalier and makes it seem as if I don’t care about things like delayed cord-clamping and skin-to-skin contact and whether I want drugs or not and who’s allowed in the room with me and whatever else — that’s not true, I do care about these things. But having spoken with my OB this morning, it seems birth plans go according to plan maybe 1% of the time. Also, we’ll be at a hospital where it’s standard practice to put mother and baby’s health first, so stuff like skin-to-skin and delayed cord clamping are really a given unless something comes up that prevents this (like the baby needing resuscitation or if I start losing too much blood or whatever the case may be). Everything is explained to me at the time, so I won’t be given meds unnecessarily. To make a long story short, I trust my OB, I trust my hospital, and I am not one of those women who gets emotionally attached to labour — I want this kid out of me as quickly as possible without endangering either of us. I want to make decisions only when they need to be made, and I don’t want to try and anticipate every little thing that may or may not come up.

All right, let the criticism loose!

28 thoughts on “Un-birth planning, un-diaper bagging and loving that glucose!

  1. Right on, sister. We’re winging it, too. There’s enough to concern yourself with, and frankly, I don’t think I’m going to need any extra worry of something not “following the plan”. Let’s be honest: nothing about getting pregnant like we did followed what I expected.

    Go with the flow. Prepare yourself to feel totally unprepared for the rest.of.your.life.

    You look fabulous, by the way. Love that bump!

  2. BRAVO! This is my second bravo in 24 hours… And “bravo” is not a word I use lightly or often.

    I did not have a birth plan. Well, I had a little plan… “get him out safely.”. I trusted my docs, hospital, etc immensely and saw no reason for one, and it turned out I absolutely did not need one. So true that hospitals these days just do skin to skin automatically. I have never heard a story where they didn’t. So many people make so much of these plans that they’re disappointed later. No thank you!

    Enjoy the time you’re saving not obsessing over a birth plan!


  3. Okay, homeless guy yelling PREGNANT?! freaking hilarious. Made my day.
    You look fantastic.
    Birth Plan = GET THE BABY OUT. Sounds like you have a hospital that is up to date on stuff… so as long as you and the doc are on the same page, birth plans/preferences are unnecessary.

  4. You have a very glamorous, timeless look. I like it! Great pic.

    Are you this funny and witty IRL? You never fail to make me laugh.

    I think the non-birth plan sounds like a plan! I think that sounds so lovely to go into the hospital with no expectations except for the hospitals protocol which sounds totally in line with what you would like to happen. (Sounds like my hospital – they had me fill out their “birth plan form” and my one page Word doc was a complete waste of time). Let them take care of you.

  5. Butt-less chaps would have been a far better present. ;-)

    I don’t think that it’s weird that you don’t have a birth plan. That way you go in with no expectations and whatever you can do that you want to do will happen, and whatever has to get pushed aside for medical reasons, will get pushed aside.

  6. I’m so glad you are back with an update!
    Love the bump pics! You are all belly and look amazing! 30 weeks already? Where did the time go?
    Your birth plan sounds exactly like ours – get that baby out! Our TTC plan didn’t get as far so we learn from the past and just go with the flow.

    Will you share some nursery pics in the future?

  7. Our bellies do look similar! We are two hawt bitches! I just wrote about my un-birth plan before looking at my reader and seeing your post. I think your plan is awesome-sauce! ;)

  8. Ahhhhahaha! PREGNANT!!! So funny:) And thx for the leather assless chaps idea… we’re coming up on three years too and I was clueless. Good to hear from you! I think your birth plan is perfect! Being flexible and open minded is never a bad idea when it comes to giving birth. You look faaabulous, btw.

  9. First off, I love this photo. You look absolutely gorgeous and chic.

    For the bullets:
    1) Yay!!!
    2) Double yay!!!
    3) Happy anniversary! For guy-oriented diaper bags, we’ve looked into Dad Gear.
    4) Yay!!!
    5) Honestly, I had no birth plan either. And considering all hell broke loose, it’s been good not to have that component to grieve about. Do what you’re comfortable with. For some, planning out all the details helps while for others winging it is for the best (and everything in between).

  10. Back in the day when I thought I would need a birth plan, mine was to go with the flow too. (Go with the flow totally counts as a valid birth plan, BTW). One thing infertility taught me was how little control we have over things. I think your plan is solid and you are much less likely to be plagued by guilt and disappointment when things don’t go according to plan… Its a very common thread I have noticed among moms.

  11. Love it! With our first one, we had a lovely, detailed birthplan that went directly out the window when they decided he would be the biggest human baby in the world and I would need a c-section. So this time, our plan is to try for vbac, but if it doesn’t work, we’re fine with it. Once baby is in front of you, you honestly don’t care how the hell he or she got there.

  12. As someone who gets very, VERY agitated when I have a plan that isn’t being followed to the letter, it’s actually refreshing to see that a “birth plan” isn’t a requirement and you can just go in there and let the experts do their thang. Also, let me know which park you were at…if I ever manage to get pregnant, I want that homeless man to yell at me too. :)

      • We used to live a five minute walk from there! And here I thought it was just home to hundreds…nay, thousands…of hipsters. Although I did have a nice older gentleman once ask me if I was studying (when I was reading a book there one day). I loved that he thought I could be young enough to still be a student. Also, Chippy’s. Fuck, I miss Chippy’s.

  13. Fo’real. So with you on the birth plan, err, absence thereof. Our goals are healthy mama, healthy baby. And that’s about it. Sure, we might have preferences and we’ll let our OB know if there’s something we feel strongly about and she’s totally on board, but I guess we’re realists – babies don’t read birth plans. 100% behind your plan and similarly in support of that awesome “diaper” bag.

  14. I thought of all these witty responses as I was reading through but at this moment I can only think one thing: You look like Posh Spice in this photo. Looking, glam, dear and that bump is totally adorable.

  15. I live in a kind of hippie college town where the university’s birth center does all the stuff that someone usually feels the need to ask for in a birth plan. In fact- the only thing in my birth plan- that I made them out in my file, 6 weeks early- was that the midwives BEST not refuse my request for an epidural- if and when I asked for it! I didn’t want to be debating and arguing and pleading in the middle of labor. I did ask for one after 13 hours of labor and it took 1.5 hours for them to hook me up!

  16. So many awesome updates! Your belly is really growing now :)
    A birth plan is still a foreign concept to me, so yours is as good as any. On the other hand, I’m a scientist and constantly make plans for things 90% of which don’t work out, and I like writing stuff down, so I imagine I might end up writing one, fully expecting reality to differ. As long as we all come out alive and ideally healthy on the other side I’m fine, really.

  17. I also agree that the ass-less leather chaps would have been great, but the bike seat is also not too far off. On L&D we joke that the more detailed the birth plan, the more likely you’ll get a C/section. I’m on blogspot and I also have the same issues with my comments getting voided

    • The commenting thing is driving me bonkers! And your blog is one of the ones where I keep having trouble (not blaming you, obviously)… it’s just like WordPress and Blogspot hate one another and refuse to get along and we all suffer the consequences… :(

      Yeah, I’ve found just looking at our friends that the ones who plan an all-natural home birth ALWAYS end up in hospital having C-sections… and my one friend who planned on a hospital birth accidentally ended up giving birth at home!

  18. My birth plan went to shit before I ever even went into labour, so good on ya for not having one. As long as you are aware of what may or may not happen, and are prepared to just go with the flow, I think it’s great. The weird thing is, even though I wouldn’t choose to have a birth plan if I had a second child (ha! That probably ain’t gonna happen at this point…), one would be forced upon me- I would have to have a planned c-section now. It sux.

    Oh- and I’ve been having a tough time commenting on certain blogs as well. I can comment from my computer, but not my ipad. WTF?

  19. First of all, you look adorable. You’re bump is so cute. You will get more and more strangers asking now that it’s so obvious. Luckily, I only have people ask me when I am due – so far no unsolicited belly rubs.

    Second, I have no birth plan and don’t plan on making one. I realize I have no control over how these babies come into this world so why stress myself out over some ideal that will most likely not happen. Sure, I would love a vaginal birth but I need 2 babies to cooperate for that to happen so I have to prepare for a c-section. I’ll just make sure I know all of the options beforehand so I am not surprised by anything they might suggest.

  20. How oh how do you still look so svelte and toned and gorgeous? I just look doughy and round. Ha. And you definitely look pregnant!

    I love the birth plan, or lack of birth plan. I think the best thing to do is to do exactly what you did. Choose a doctor and hospital that go along with your values and then trust that they will do what they need to do and have your best interest at heart. Otherwise, it seems like it can just turn so adversarial, which is ridiculous. Who are we to fight with doctors?

    I doubt I’ll have a birth plan either, as we chose the birthing center and I trust them. My friend that just delivered there fought with them when they wanted to do an episiotomy. I just thought that was silly. They have a strong mission to not have to cut and so if they need to cut, then you should just trust them! Right?

    Anyhow, good to read your post and see all is going so well! :)

    • Genetics, my friend… all genetics… I don’t do a lick of physical activity. In fact, I’m too lazy to even squeeze my vagina a few times a day for these kegel exercises. Still, I’m convinced I’ll get some sort of pregnancy fat face in the last month. Just when you think you’re in the clear, all sorts of crap happens!

      And yeah, that’s exactly it — I want the doctors on my side, and they won’t be if I keep fighting them on stuff!

  21. 1st you have a beautiful bump!
    2nd and small point, I don’t think you can collect the blood to donate if you delay cord-clamping.
    You are getting so close!

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