Lazy embryo is alive… and still lazy.

I’m not a religious person and I don’t believe in signs, but holy crap was I ever searching for them this morning. Sitting in the waiting room at the clinic, I was all, “It seems busier than normal today, but also quieter than normal today — does that mean my baby is alive or dead? If they’re making me wait longer than five minutes, does that mean they somehow know my baby is dead and are delaying the ultrasound?” Then my hubby opened up his laptop, started doing some work and asked me for a sip of the tea I’d brought with me, and I was like, “ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU WANT TO START SIPPING TEA WHEN WE’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT THERE’S NO HEARTBEAT?!!” Then, the worst of all possible signs: I get called back by a tech I’ve never met before, who is 8 months pregnant and doing absolutely nothing to conceal this fact, and she says my husband isn’t allowed to come in with me. Great — so I’m going to have a fucking pregnant belly in my face and nobody by my side as I listen to the absence of a heartbeat.

She asked when my last period was and we went through the awkwardness of IVF embryo-dating. Then we did the abdominal ultrasound — in total silence — and the only thing she asked me was whether I did a fresh or frozen transfer. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?! Afterwards, we moved on to the trans-vaginal ultrasound and, once again, she’s saying nothing and I’m hearing nothing. Then she pipes up with, “I’m just going to check your ovaries because they can sometimes be a little tender at this point in time.” Again, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT POINT IN WHAT TIME, LADY?! Then it was over, and I had to sit in my doctor’s waiting room until he got the results. Basically, I assumed it was horrible news, and when we finally got called into his office, I couldn’t even look at his face because I knew what was coming. His cheery demeanour was clearly just for show.

We sat down opposite his desk and he closed the door.

“So, getting pregnant is easy, right?” he said. What? Was he joking about the fact that we’ve failed in this pursuit yet again? Then he sat down opposite us and said three beautiful words: “Everything looks good.”

I couldn’t believe it. I seriously couldn’t believe it. I’m pretty sure I made him repeat the above phrase at least three times. He went on to say that the embryo/fetus (what is it called at this point, anyway?) is measuring at 6 weeks 4 days — I expressed concern that I should be at 7 weeks by now and he said that, no, I was “naturally” supposed to be at 6 weeks 5 days, but it’s hard to be accurate at this stage anyway. Then I asked what the heart rate was and he said 128 beats per minute. This sounded low to me, so I asked if he was sure this was acceptable and he said yes. Then I asked, once again, if he was SURE this was acceptable and he rolled his eyes. Again, he said yes (and implied: shut up). Looking at the American Pregnancy Association’s notes on this, it does indeed appear to be fine, especially at this early stage.

And yet, because I had been hoping for an embryo measuring 7 weeks or more, and a heart rate at 140 or higher, I left the clinic still feeling nervous and worrying that these numbers were once again on the “lazy” side of things. The good news is that I don’t have to wait until 12 weeks for my next ultrasound — I’m getting another one in 10 days, when I should be closer to 8 weeks. Apparently, if that turns out fine, I can also request a photo of it (my clinic is seriously stingy when it comes to handing out images of anything).

We received some advice to “have sex but not intercourse” (um, OK), not get into an airplane, and not do ANY exercise whatsoever until we hit the 12-week mark. Then, it’s thumbs up to all the above, and no more progesterone suppositories.

So that’s all the news for now. I’m emotionally drained, to be honest. It still doesn’t feel real, and I don’t think I’ll actually believe this is happening until I can hear that beautiful, lazy-ass heartbeat with my own ears and see something that resembles a human on the ultrasound screen. Cue the 10-day wait, I suppose…

Btw, I’m pretty sure this is exactly what my embryo is telling me:

emotional

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26 thoughts on “Lazy embryo is alive… and still lazy.

  1. I’m going to stereotype right now and say that your fetus is lazy because it is a boy. Terrible of me to be that way but um, well it seems to be a bit typical of male babies to be a bit behind.

  2. So great! Way to go, little embryo! S/he is probably just totally laid back and wondering what all the fuss is about. If s/he could talk, s/he’d tell you to “Chill out, Mum.”

    Also, you win major points for not totally spazzing over them saying your husband couldn’t come in and then not giving you a clue as to whether everything was okay. I would have t lost it at both occasions.

  3. I cannot believe they made you wait that long to tell you the news was good. Sadists! Anyway, I’m so happy to hear that you had a strong little heartbeat. You have some peace of mind for the next ten days, right?! I am the same way, btw – I make them repeat several times if the news is good because it’s like impossible to believe.

  4. Everything is beyond OK! At 6wk5d our little ones hb was 110bpm and I was freaking out that it was too low as well! And it was in fact a BOY, LOL!! Seems like you are right on track, I hope these 10 days pass quickly for you!!! I can’t believe they didn’t let your husband back with you and didn’t tel you any info, that’s just wrong!

    • This makes me feel so much better, Tonya!! And also, so crazy about this boys-being-lazier-embryos thing… I will be very curious to know if that logic proves correct if we make it that far!

  5. YESSSSSS! (I reserve the right to extra S’s for circumstances like these!) I’m so so so happy to hear this news.

    And. What kind of place won’t let your husband in the room with you and won’t give you any feedback during the exam?! This is bogus!

  6. Yay for live things in the ute! But dude, seriously, you gotta chill on the fetus. I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to give your kid a complex about being lazy and continually disappointing you until it is at least 13. I keep picturing you as Grumpy Cat, saying “Fetus, I am disappoint.” (Yeah, squeezing as many memes in there as possible!) Anyway, CONGRATS and I hope this means you can finally take a deep breath, exhale all the stress and celebrate the fact that you are pregnant!

  7. Ok…deep breath…everything really DOES look good! At this point in the game, my little one also measured about a day behind and had a heart rate of 131. And he’s still happily cooking away.

    I hope you’ll be able to relax a little bit more right now, though I know it’s hard. The first few weeks are the worst in terms of worry. But it’s great that they’re fitting you in for another ultrasound soon. And hopefully this time they won’t be such cruel bastards and they’ll let your husband in!

  8. Yeah!!!! This is all awesome news. The heartbeat seems just right for this early. And yes– I do agree with those who are guessing “boy” :) Just remember that you will ALWAYS find something to worry about. Try to block as many of those thoughts as you can unless you have real reason because MAN does it all go fast.

  9. My middle child was my most difficult to conceive, so I knew the exact date of conception, and at her seven week ultrasound, she measured a day behind and had a heart rate of only 120. since I had conceived her directly after a miscarriage, I was certain she was doomed. She just had her second birthday. Best of luck to you and your little nugget.

  10. Awesome news!!! Yes, you totally have a little boy in there!!! And not even a lazy one ;) (‘cuz I think it really is a thing that boy fetuses can tend to sometimes grow a tiny bit slower and hbs be lower. Not lower or slower than “normal” just lower or slower than female babies at this stage.) That said, it could be a girl, because there is a wide range of growing rates and hbs at this stage for ANYone. Either way, you’ve got a healthy bub in there – congrats!!!!

  11. Awesome! This is great news! Although I can’t believe they didn’t let your husband go with you or let you see/hear the heartbeat. But you got good news and that’s the important part!
    I’m glad to see I am not the only one being instructed not to exercise. Are they just being extra cautious with the infertiles or what?

  12. YES!!! I’m so happy to read this! I kept thinking of you! I also measured behind by a day or so in the beginning, and now I measure ahead! The first time we saw/heard the heart beat, it was 127! I was just a couple days behind you then. I think this all sounds wonderful!! Will be continuing to think of you and your embryo! xoxo

  13. I’m a few weeks ahead of you (and due to go back tomorrow, yikes!) but my little one was measuring 7 weeks 1 day when by my dates it was 7 weeks 6 days and my midwife said that at this early stage as long as they’re within a week of EDD, all is well. Guess I’ll find out for sure tomorrow if we see a heartbeat! Good luck!

  14. I totally missed this post. Hooray for a GREAT ultrasound! 128 is just great, actually! Ours was 126 at 6w4d… i just verified on my TTC page. This one is a boy, so was my last one who was 132 @ 6w4d. They vary so much, but yours is totally normal and not lazy!

    Congrats to you guys!!

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