Reportedly, supposedly, allegedly 11 weeks

So technically, it seems that I might be 11 weeks pregnant. There is now just one week to go until our 12-week NT scan and while I’ve had a pretty decent run at being nonchalant this past little while, I am now really starting to freak out that something is wrong and I don’t yet know it. Like, seriously, at this point in the game, I should be feeling SOMETHING, right? Tightness in my uterus? A rounder belly? (Well, maybe not because I’m 5’11”.) Trouble sleeping? Constipation? Honestly, I would take ANYTHING just to reassure me that Right On Time Fetus hasn’t lost his heartbeat or stopped growing.

To distract myself, I bought a pregnancy book. Figured that would be a really awesome way to not think about this pregnancy too much. Anyway, it is my first baby-related purchase, and I’m starting to think publishers should make shorter, cheaper books that are strictly for women who’ve become pregnant after infertility and therefore already know how reproductive systems work and in fact have already gone through most of the first trimester because they were too terrified to jinx the pregnancy by purchasing a stupid book about it. THAT, I would buy. Instead, however, I opted to go with this one:

book

I very purposely did NOT give my hard-earned dollars to the already far-too-wealthy author who is bent on terrifying pregnant women everywhere with her book What To Expect When You’re Expecting. I really don’t need any extra fear in my life right now, thank you. Plus, this Mother of All Pregnancy Books got better reviews on Amazon, and it’s Canadian, so the references and resources actually make sense (because I really don’t need to learn about complicated insurance policies, thanks!).

Also, look how friendly this Ann Douglas lady looks!

douglas

Compare that to Heidi Murkoff, who has clearly had a little too much work done, which makes her totes untrustworthy in my opinion:

murkoff

Aaaaaanyway, so I’m now on page 259 because, like I said, the entire first part of the book was talking about, like, charting your temperature, which I am just laughably beyond at this point. So far, I’m enjoying the read overall, but I can’t say I’m really learning very much. Yeah yeah, no raw dairy or fish; yeah yeah, don’t smoke or drink; yeah yeah, these are the symptoms you may be feeling right now. If anything, I’m just feeling more anxious that I’m experiencing NONE of those symptoms. Part of me just wants to leap ahead to the What To Do If A Test Brings Bad News chapter or the When A Baby Dies chapter because that’s more where my mind is at. But I know that’s not going to ease my stress levels.

Have any of you guys read preggo books you’ve actually liked, and felt were worthwhile reading? I am still feeling horribly nervous about spending too much time “preparing” at this point, but I can appreciate good advice!

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19 thoughts on “Reportedly, supposedly, allegedly 11 weeks

  1. Girl, if you are 5’11 a) I am jealous and b) I dont think you should expect a rounder belly till about October. I am sure it must be torture waiting for the scan! Try not to fret – remember some peolpe would still not even know they ARE pregnant yet! And hopefully this means you will have a limited about of time of morning sickness!!

    • Haha, yeah my mother warned that my belly at 9 months will probably just look a little bloated, that’s all. Should’ve transferred two embryos so I could have a proper belly. :) jk…

  2. I agree with kimberly, at your height you will probably take longer to start showing. Which I’m sure won’t help to reassure you that everything is fine in your uterus. I have faith in your right on time fetus! I think you are incredibly lucky to have avoided the bad pregnancy symptoms, but I totally get how that would just create all sorts of doubt.
    As for books, I haven’t actually bought any yet so I have no advice. My SIL just told me she would send me hers since she is only weeks away from having her baby. One bonus to having babies after everyone else? hand me downs.

  3. I bought the same book you did, plus another one (NOT written by the scary-faced lady). I have to confess that I gave up on them after about a month. They weren’t really telling me anything I didn’t already know – except for the horror story bits, and I really don’t want to read about those.

  4. Years ago I read the Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy. It was a hoot. It explained why I would want to yank on the steering wheel why my husband was driving…that type of craziness. LOL

  5. You are much much much farther along than I, but I am SO GLAD that someone else out there isn’t experiencing “typical” pregnancy symptoms for where they’re at weeks wise. All over the internet I read about women who don’t have symptoms (like me at 5 weeks 5 days), but yet all the stupid books don’t mention it. Someone needs to write a book about symptomless or atypical first trimesters. Seriously.

    • Exactly! The author actually refers in one sentence to the “magical unicorns” who never feel any symptoms and, if anything, have MORE energy while pregnant and then just brushes them off. But I feel like I AM that magical unicorn and it blows!!

      • Me three! That’s why these pregnancy books freak me out. I hate how they say “Right now, you are feeling X and X”, when I’m really not feeling much of anything!

  6. You are 5’11! Let me put my head to your bosom. I will be your short chubby friend.

    Not that I have any idea what I’m talking about, but if I’ve learned anything from prego blogs it’s that symptoms or no symptoms doesn’t mean shit. Even with the same woman pregnancy to pregnancy it’s different. I’m suuuure that this will be your symptom free healthy pregnancy, and just when you get comfy thinking that’s how pregnancy is you’ll get pregnant with a second one and that one will make you puke round the clock.

    And man alive, why hasn’t someone written the pregnancy for infertiles book? That’s a brilliant idea.. I mean shit so many of us have to go to special crazy doctors during pregnancy and I sure don’t need sex explained to me.. someone should get on this. I would except I can’t type any technical terms without following it up with an inappropriate joke.

    • This is an excellent idea — and seeing as I’ve actually written a book, I’m very tempted to pitch it to my editor/publisher. Although I also feel like there’s not much you can even say to an infertile because they’ve Googled the fuck out of every single thing related to pregnancy and are de facto experts on it all…

      Btw, almost ALL of my girlfriends are super short — I swear I don’t have some fetish, but I do think we should REALLY get to know each other… ;)

  7. Check out the pics on my blog of my SIL, she is the same height at you (but she’s a fluffy girl like me, she hides it better though since I am as tall as smurfette) she didn’t “look” pregnant until I think 20 weeks! She shrank back down pretty quickly after birth to, it was insane.. YAY for NT Scan, they have the “good” u/s machine :)

  8. I can relate completely to the lack of symptoms, and it totally doing your head in. I didn’t think I was showing very much at 11 weeks, either, but my students beg to differ. They claim to have known I was pregnant because I was showing…even before I was pregnant. Thanks, kids.

    Anyway, as far as book recommendations go, I’ve got a great one for multiples (no help to you), and the first book I bought before I was pregnant (before even realizing we had a problem): Body, Soul, and Baby by Tracy W. Gaudet. It’s a nice approach to pregnancy–I appreciate that she incorporates a “check-in” element to the book where you’re forced to actually think about how you’re feeling during this whole crazy ride.

    It sounds like your first trimester experience has been pretty similar to mine–you don’t dare get excited or let anything sink in, in fear of how you’d feel if something terrible happened. The only thing I have to say to that is try to embrace it. I’m halfway through this pregnancy (which could be my only one), and I still feel like this massive belly is just gas. I think the longer you let it go, the harder it becomes to switch off the part of your brain that is trying to protect yourself.

    Anyway…just my two cents. Or is it five cents now that we don’t have a penny…

  9. I’ve started a few, and never get past the first trimester of reading. I find that there’s nothing really to learn – it’s pretty basic stuff.

    Don’t worry about the lack of symptoms. I had none with either pregnancy until heartburn set in – and it didn’t start with this pregnancy until 20 weeks.

  10. I bought the what to expect book used for $5 and I’m so glad I didn’t spend more. Most of the info in all of these books is basically the same from what I can tell, and is geared for people who sneezed and found themselves knocked up. As for symptoms or no. .. you’re looking at a girl who had basically none! My second tri back pain has Been the first chink in my armor at 24 weeks! A symptom free pregnancy does not equal doom and gloom contrary to what the crazy internet says :-) you’re doing amazing!

  11. I haven’t found any good informative pregnancy books, unfortunately. They all tell me dumb stuff that I already know or they get really preachy about what type of birth I should have. I don’t think I got anything useful out of them.

    You should read “Belly Laughs” by Jenny McCarthy though! It was kinda funny! I got it on Amazon.

    For information, questions, etc I belong to a couple of groups with ladies either in my same due date month or ladies that are due anytime in 2013. They can be very helpful! Some of them have kids already, so they have good experience. Some are first timers and have similar questions and fears as I do. Are you on Facebook? I have a nice group of ladies who are all pregnant after infertility. It’s a secret group, so no one can see you’ve joined. Email me if you are interested, I’d love to have you! Baby4Lisa@gmail.com.

    Also, I had big time fears before my NT scan (and any scan actually). I can relate! You will feel a lot better after that is done. I am praying for awesome news for you!! Keep hanging in there – you’re doing great!! :) After the first trimester, things get easier.

  12. Lol! I love that you choose the book based on the authors looks! That Ann lady does look like a sweetie! What to expect was a horrible book! Ick! I want my money back! I choose to not read about my pregnancy, do everything wrong (like eat Camembert), and find out about it later via google.

    I do wish however that I read parenting books or sleep theory books and just pick a style, because I spend a lot of late nights googling how to get my baby to sleep. I think I’m doing okay, but yeah… Totally never researched how to actually parent. But hey, I’m a more intuitive person anyway and like to learn on the job.

    • This is exactly what my friend just told me — I should be spending this time reading PARENTING books, not pregnancy books. And so with that in mind, I just ordered The Mother of All Parenting Books, by the same author. I am so effing paranoid about this sleep issue it’s crazy, but am determined to do everything within my power to figure it out.

  13. Oh, yeah, I’ve also heard from many sources that Mayo Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy is excellent. I actually bought it when I first started trying, but I shredded it on a bad infertile day. He he. I might have to buy it again soon.

  14. I agree that the Mayo book is pretty good, but again, as with all of the books, most of them are pretty surface level and a lot of them are generic things you’ve already read/heard. My favorite has been the apps on my phone instead. I have What to Expect, Baby Center and BabyBump. They’re pretty fun. But also, with your lack of symptoms, I may stay away because it won’t be relevant (yet) when they talk about your current symptoms. Don’t worry about the lack of symptoms, enjoy being a magical unicorn.

    Also, I’m only 5″6 and thin(ish) and am currently 10+3weeks and no bump at all.

    Keep us posted on the 12 week scan!

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