C-section booked!

Well, it seems Mine to Command, Infertile First Mom and Two Adults One Child all came the closest to guessing when I’d deliver (you all put in bets for somewhere between 38 and 39 weeks). My OB has decided that I may as well go ahead with this C-section next Wednesday, Oct. 16, when I’ll be 39 weeks exactly. So assuming nothing problematic happens before then, you can all mark your calendars (because I am THAT important in ALL of your lives). I should point out, too, that while Oct. 16 may seem like a rather boring day on which to be born, it turns out that junior will forever share his birthday with… wait for it… National Feral Cat Day (this year’s theme: Architects of Change)!

With five days to go until — knock on wood, spit everywhere — I have an actual baby in my arms, I can’t help but reflect on how insane it is that we’re finally here. That I’m living a life that includes a big round belly, a bassinet in our bedroom, conversations about diapering, prenatal classes and so forth; it’s a world I truly wasn’t sure I’d ever get to inhabit, and while I have at times gotten carried away with it and other times been blasé about it, I have never EVER taken it for granted. When I was in triage recently having my blood drawn, the nurse was stressed and distracted and started talking to a doctor while she was jabbing my arm; she realized that she’d fucked it up and that I’d be left with a nasty bruise. She was right, as evidenced by this poor-quality photo:


I shrugged and said, “Don’t worry about it.” Then she started tsk-ing and apologizing and warning me that it was going to get worse and could be quite sore and so forth — in the end, I was like, “Girl, I can guarantee that whatever the heck happens to my arm is nothing compared to the shit I’ve been through to get to this point in my pregnancy. I would happily start each day falling down a flight of stairs and getting covered in bruises if it meant I could be, and stay, pregnant.” OK, I may not have said these exact words, nor referred to the nurse as “Girl”, but you get the gist — I think every woman who’s gone through the torture of infertility would have the exact same reaction as I did upon being told that something might leave a bruise. Like, seriously, whatevs.

Anyway, Oct. 16 is fast approaching, and before I get sucked into a vortex of BAHHH-LOOK-AT-MY-BABY-OMG-LIFE-IS-AMAZEBALLS, I’d like to pause for a moment and say a humble thanks to all of you bloggy friends for being here with me through this journey, from the grossness of neon-blue Estrace leaking out of my lady bits to the challenge of seeing how fast I could administer my own shots… then to the sheer elation of seeing those two pink lines (which remains the highlight of my entire pregnancy, frankly)… and then the panic of not-quite-doubling betas, a bleeding episode that led to me cackling euphorically on the bathroom floor when I realized it was coming from my bum hole… and then further worry over echogenic bowel and the possibility that our fetus had Cystic Fibrosis… and then finally to now, when we’re about to bring what appears to be a perfectly average, perfectly healthy, 7-pound boy into the world.

It means a lot to have this support, even when it’s just a little comment here or there from a stranger on the Interwebs.

— Oscar acceptance speech over —

So stay tuned next week for exciting news! And if you have any tips when it comes to C-section recovery, feel free to share. I vaguely remember some of you talking about milk of magnesia or something to help prevent constipation and the importance of getting up and walking rather than lying in bed the whole time… can y’all remind me?

24 thoughts on “C-section booked!

  1. this is so exciting. enjoy every second of the “awesome baby” vortex. let your self get totally sucked in, because it’s that important, and frankly, it is also that awesome. HE will be awesome.

    and yes, milk of mag and walking are both your friend. you weren’t a wussy thus far, I don’t anticipate you’ll turn into one next week! best wishes!

  2. Yay! I can’t wait!

    I’m the milk of mag woman! I emailed this assvice over to Belle the day before her c-section. My first section did not include this, and I paid the price 10 days later in a public restroom for over an hour. With Bryson, my doc prescribed it and holy hell it was wonderful. Take a dose each morning and night after surgery and start the night of surgery. This is the most important advice I have after two sections!

    Get up as soon as you can – like the evening of your surgery. Walk a couple laps around the maternity floor whenever baby is with the docs. Don’t try to rush out of the hospital a day early. Ask to see your placenta – it’s amazing (B took photos of mine… Didn’t need the photos. Ha!)

    I am soooo excited for you!!!!

  3. Well, technically I was right too when I saw 39 weeks. :P Anyhow, I am so so excited for you! But the bruise on your arm is NOT cool. I can’t wait to see photo updates. :D

  4. Oh the bathroom floor bleeding bung hole incident…how well I remember thee. I’m so glad that you’ve gotten where you are and are going to be rolling a hipster baby around in just a few short days! Can’t wait to see pics of baby Jesse Pinkman!

  5. Oh to the em to the gee!!! I am so excited for you. It is a great big fantastic journey oncevyou have the babe in your arms. I’m looking forward to all of your posts!

  6. I am glad you recalled the rectal bleeding incident. I forgot what blogger it was. I’ve thought about that every month since, though, always making sure to check which of my holes was bleeding when my period started. Ya know, just to make sure it wasn’t butt blood and that maybe, just maybe, I was miraculously pregnant. Ok. This is getting gross. Too much bloody butt babble. Hope your bruise gets better. Good attitude about everything. I admire thee.

  7. ERRMAHGERD!!! 5 days!!! In addition to the advice/assvice you have already received, I shall add that you need to have a pillow on hand for when you feel the need to cough and or sneeze! Press it to your belly prior to said sneeze or cough.. Otherwise you will feel as if you are busting wide open! Oh and don’t bend over from your waist. AT ALL..

    EEEEK! Baby Jesse Pinkman is almost here!!!! Can’t wait!!! XOXOXOXOXO!!

  8. You, my friend, have written one hell f an infertile journies through pregnancy story, and i have enjoyed reading every last word. I now very much look forward to the next chapter. You are going to monster this c-section and parent like a champ. And, ohmygod. It could not have been any better than National Feral Cat day. That is, hands down, the best thing that could have come out of your mouth.

    Congrats, friend. You made it to baby. I’ll be thinking about you guys!

  9. I agree with Lentil! As a parent to two feral cats, sharing a birth day with National Feral Cat Day is awesome! It’s been such a pleasure to follow you though your infertility and pregnancy experience, your stories are always touching and humourous! Can’t wait to see the pictures of the baby!

  10. Holy shit! Five days!!! How are you feeling? I can’t decide if it would be easier to know when he is coming or to be in my boat and have no freaking clue. Either way, it’s mind blowing. I mean, your whole life is going to change and will never be the same in less than a week….oops, sorry I’m projecting my own amazement/anxiety. Reading your post was really nice because it brings you full circle regarding how far you’ve come. I am so, so happy for you!

    p.s. struggles and pain and relativity aside, that bruise is absolutely ridiculous!

  11. Yayyy! I won the delivery date bet! I never win anything;) Holy crud…you are on the brink of an awesome new world, Mama. Now’s the time to revel in your relative largeness and absolute peace. The changes to come are fabulous, though, and I’m so excited (really autocorrect? Encrusted? No) …excited that you made it Here and are about to be There! I have no c-section assvice, but it sounds like you’ll be just fine. Looking forward to hearing the happy news:)

  12. Yay for baby! I can’t wait to see pictures.
    As far as recovery, get up and walk as soon as you can. It sucks and it hurts but you will heal faster. I had to take pain pills for 3 (!) weeks and I think it’s because I couldn’t get out of bed at all for the first 24 hours after mine so it slowed my recovery. Also, wear the compression belly band thing. Totally helps keep everything more secure in there. At least it makes me feel better. I was given colace for constipation but milk of magnesia would work, too. Good luck!

  13. That is TWO DAYS from now!!! YAYAAYAYAYAY! I am so excited for you. Coincidentally, that is the same day we find out the gender of our baby, so it will be very easy for me to remember and I will most certainly be thinking of you while I’m at my appointment. GOOD LUCK, and I can’t wait to see what your little nugget looks like! So happy to have found you and your journey on the great, wide internetz.

  14. Whoa you are going to have a baby in just a few short days! Yay! Please make sure to write all about your c-section and your recovery from it for those of us that will be going through the same thing in less than two months. Good luck and I hope it goes great! Yay baby!


      Thinking of you is a perfect distraction for worrying about my dissertation proposal tomorrow. Baby is probably out right now, in fact. You are probably holding him in your arms. Gahhh.

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