32E. Not even kidding.

I keep reiterating to everybody that absolutely nothing has changed since I got pregnant — at 14 weeks, there is still no trace of a bump, no symptoms, no nausea, and even those revolting cravings I had for Kraft Dinner and McDonald’s cheeseburgers have vanished (bless you, hippocampus). However, I think I’ve been in denial about my boobs. They’ve been slightly tender since beginning the progesterone soon after my transfer, and my husband has insisted that they’ve grown, but every time I look at my profile in the bathroom mirror, I really can’t notice any difference. I have, however, realized that only one bra tends to fit me now, and it was the bra I purchased worrying that it might be a titch too big on me. If I wear any of my other bras, I can just about stuff myself into them while getting ready in the morning, but they are guaranteed to be making an exit by the time I undress myself at night. And let me tell you, there is not a lot of sexiness involved in taking your shirt off and attempting to entice your hubby as Lefty pokes its nipple out to check on things while Righty oozes out the bottom like it’s searching for its keys.

Point being: I came to admit it. My tits were bigger. I needed a new bra.

So off I went to this store in Toronto that basically refuses to sell you a bra unless you agree to do a proper fitting with a sales rep, which sounds annoying, but it really just ensures that you walk away with something that fits (and the vast majority of women have their size all wrong). I described what I was looking for — ie. something comfy but not ugly that my boobs won’t be able to escape — and off went the sales rep. When she came back with a series of bras that had inch-thick straps and three to four hooks on each clasp, I was momentarily disturbed. But then I tried on the sexier black one made by Freya (you can see it here; it’s not the nursing bra, just the regular version):


It was awesome. No underwire but plenty of support, lifts up the tatas and covers them without looking like a granny bra. Plus, I took it as a good sign that it was made by a company called Freya — my husband and I were considering that as a girl’s name; we probably won’t go for it, but I still think it’s very pretty. I gave it a test run yesterday and, sure enough, at the end of the night, I removed my shirt and everything was in place. Then, I happened to notice the actual size of the bra and gasped: 32E. I have only ever purchased 34C. As if I’m an E CUP?! Is there even milk being made in there yet, or is that just general bulge?? Deep breaths.

Anyway, I guess this marks my second official pregnancy purchase, after the pseudo-informative book. What usually comes next, ladies? Stretch mark cream? Pre-natal yoga videos? I kinda just want to skip to ironic onesies — is that allowed?

27 thoughts on “32E. Not even kidding.

  1. Damn girl, those are some cans! That’s a fantastic pregnancy symptom if I ever heard one.

    I don’t know what the typical next purchase should be, but I say you get a couple V-neck shirts just for fun, just for now until you have the belly. Maybe you’ll get a few more doors opened for you or a few freebies at the smoothie shop. I’ve always wanted to try that, but I’ve never had the rack for it.

    And I say hell yes to ironic onesies. Too cute.

  2. So, let me get this straight. You’re 5 foot bajillion, you have no baby bump (read: still skinny) and you have gigantic knockers? Right now, I’d say your next purchase should be a session with a professional photog for some boudoir photos. You’d look like a frickin’ Victoria’s Secret model. Do it while you can!! Also, love me some ironic onesies. But so far my absolute fave is the bib I saw that said “These fools put my cape on backwards!” Big snorty laugh for that one!

    • Hahaha, you might be on to something there, actually… yes, I suppose on paper it sounds as if I’m a supermodel, but far from it, I guarantee you. And that bib sounds HILARIOUS! I am totally Googling that now.

  3. I feel cheated! My boobs still fit into my same old bras. Sure, there’s a bit more cleavage but I have certainly not jumped 3 cup sizes. Sigh. I was really looking forward to seeing what it was like to have big boobs.

    • Poor Jen, this is the second time one of us….(hmm I almost wrote “rubbed it in your face” but that’s weird when talking about boobs)…made you jealous about boobs! Maybe yours are still coming??

    • R u sure what ur experiencing isn’t quad boob rather than cleavage? Some woman confuse the two. The cup should in no way dig into ur breast tissue. This can be very damaging. Get fitted at a small boutique that specializes (not vs or other big box store – they use an incorrect, old fashioned method)

  4. Sigh… Envious. I was really hoping pregnancy and nursing would finally let me experience cleavage but the best I got was fully filling my B cup and maybe got some C cup bras to mostly look filled (helped if I didn’t nurse for a while). And post weaning – I’m pretty sure the damn things deflated to LESS than before. So glad hubs calls me the ‘sporty model’ and claims I look good!

    • Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, the deflation issue is a serious concern for me… the more boob there is to contend with, the more sagging to be paranoid of post-breastfeeding. ARGH!

  5. These comments are so funny!
    If it makes you feel any better, a 32E cup size is the same as a 34 D. But yes, I too feel a little boob envy as I went from a 34 B to a 38C. Wtf is with the 38? Fat back?
    Best maternity bra ever is the pea in the pod “grandma” maternity bra with no under wire. Like heaven for $45! I don’t know if I’m alone on this one but not a fan of the sensation of boob underside touching stomach (you’ll know what I mean once the tum tum gets bigger)

    • OMG so funny you mentioned this!! Just last night, I was crouching/hunched over, trying to find something in the back of my underwear drawer, and my boob actually touched my stomach! Like, the middle part of my stomach! I don’t think those two bits of skin have EVER met each other before.. it was weird.

  6. I am really nervous how big my boobs are going to get- pre-pregnancy they were 36DDD and I’m starting to have a four boob situation at 8 weeks. I’m trying to wait to buy new bras but I will most likely have to break down soon!

  7. I wish my boobs were that big. Well, maybe not that big but definitely bigger. They’re a puny 36B even with all these lovely pregnancy hormones. I think K would die if I showed up with 32E knockers. He’d be in heaven.

  8. Oh my god, as you know, this could have been my post. What a similar experience. Except of course, 32E?? Holy shit, girl! How do you fit them in a shirt?

  9. Damn girl, way to be. I am totally hoping for an upgrade from this measly B cup. Honestly, I don’t think it gets better than this – no symptoms, no bump, just a classy little breast enhancement? Please and thank you!

  10. haha, this is so funny, only because I, for the first time in my womanly existence, put on a D cup yesterday. and it fit. who knew this was even possible?? enjoy looking like a sex kitten :) it’ll take a while for the belly to be out farther than those knockers!

  11. hahah!! glad you’re out of your denial. it may get worse though… i was 32D pre-pregnancy (34C cups fit, but the back clasp would slide up my back if i wore a 34C, so our “natural” sizes are quite similar). now, in my 34th week, i’m a 32G. frightening.

    hope your growth has “leveled off”, haha, and you experience no middle-upper back pain because of your baby cans;)

  12. Oh wow! You go girl!! I hope I have the same side effect of pregnancy someday! And that really is a cute bra you got too, glad everything is going so well for you :)

  13. Well part of the cup size went up because you had the wrong strap size. :-) So instead of 34C, you probably were a 32D. Depending on the maker, you could have gone up 1-2 cups sizes, but probably 1.

    Don’t fret – I’m a 32e or 32dd in most bras. (Sometimes an F!) I went up to a G cup in pregnancy!!! If you have a Somo bra store (or online) they make really comfy bras. Comfy and pretty. The websites Bare Necessities and FigLeaves.com have a really HUGE selection of bras and you can search by size.

  14. As someone who wears a 36GG/J, those thick straps and 3 to 4 clasps are there for a reason lol. I pretty much won’t wear anything with less than three clasps now. And you need some heavy duty straps to keep them up. The bigger you get the harder it is to find sexy bras. They are out there, but they are usually quite a bit more expensive. Since you went down a band size you really only went up two cups sizes rather than three. Two cups sizes is still a lot though. I hope you are able to enjoy them and they don’t get too much bigger!

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