Once again throwing all logic and rationale to the wind, I woke up this morning and was convinced the sunshine outside my window meant my ultrasound would go just dandy. All this week, I’ve been coping with my usual dread that we wouldn’t see a heartbeat or we’d find out The Embryo Formerly Known as Lazy Embryo wasn’t growing on schedule. Add to this the fact that my husband is away for work, and it was just bad feelings 24/7. I couldn’t even blog, ladies, that’s how terrible it was. And yet, for some reason, I felt OK this morning, largely thanks to the aforementioned weather conditions in Toronto, as if I couldn’t possibly have a miscarriage while the sun was shining.
Fortunately, my gut was right. Yet again, I had the massively pregnant ultrasound tech, but this time I was kind enough to hurl fewer daggers at her via my gaze. Then when she started moving the wand around my stomach, she mentioned the transvaginal ultrasound that was coming up, and that it “should be the last one after this,” which sounded reassuring. Finally, right before the session was over, she turned the screen toward me and pointed out the embryo and the heartbeat.
I was shocked. Some garbled nonsense came out of my mouth. The image looked like all those images I’ve seen belonging to real, live pregnant women — but it was ME! As if!
Granted, it still looks more like a series of blobs than an actual human, and I have no freakin’ clue where its head is, but those are MY blobs up in that picture, bitches! And they’re measuring at 8 weeks 1 day, with a heart rate of 173, which means I’m officially transferring to an OB. I was kind of speechless as my fertility doc said, “My work here is done.” Then he gave me a hug, which I thought was nice.
So with that, I’m renaming Lazy Embryo as the new and improved Right On Time Embryo. My husband also calls him Spark, because that’s all he was on the ultrasound screen at the time of transfer, but frankly I think that nickname is a bit too cutesy.
Anyway, thank you all for being such a wonderful source of support throughout this insane process and having faith in this little guy when I didn’t. I’m sure this journey will involve a heck of a lot more stress and anxiety, but for once I’m feeling genuinely excited about it.