32E. Not even kidding.

I keep reiterating to everybody that absolutely nothing has changed since I got pregnant — at 14 weeks, there is still no trace of a bump, no symptoms, no nausea, and even those revolting cravings I had for Kraft Dinner and McDonald’s cheeseburgers have vanished (bless you, hippocampus). However, I think I’ve been in denial about my boobs. They’ve been slightly tender since beginning the progesterone soon after my transfer, and my husband has insisted that they’ve grown, but every time I look at my profile in the bathroom mirror, I really can’t notice any difference. I have, however, realized that only one bra tends to fit me now, and it was the bra I purchased worrying that it might be a titch too big on me. If I wear any of my other bras, I can just about stuff myself into them while getting ready in the morning, but they are guaranteed to be making an exit by the time I undress myself at night. And let me tell you, there is not a lot of sexiness involved in taking your shirt off and attempting to entice your hubby as Lefty pokes its nipple out to check on things while Righty oozes out the bottom like it’s searching for its keys.

Point being: I came to admit it. My tits were bigger. I needed a new bra.

So off I went to this store in Toronto that basically refuses to sell you a bra unless you agree to do a proper fitting with a sales rep, which sounds annoying, but it really just ensures that you walk away with something that fits (and the vast majority of women have their size all wrong). I described what I was looking for — ie. something comfy but not ugly that my boobs won’t be able to escape — and off went the sales rep. When she came back with a series of bras that had inch-thick straps and three to four hooks on each clasp, I was momentarily disturbed. But then I tried on the sexier black one made by Freya (you can see it here; it’s not the nursing bra, just the regular version):


It was awesome. No underwire but plenty of support, lifts up the tatas and covers them without looking like a granny bra. Plus, I took it as a good sign that it was made by a company called Freya — my husband and I were considering that as a girl’s name; we probably won’t go for it, but I still think it’s very pretty. I gave it a test run yesterday and, sure enough, at the end of the night, I removed my shirt and everything was in place. Then, I happened to notice the actual size of the bra and gasped: 32E. I have only ever purchased 34C. As if I’m an E CUP?! Is there even milk being made in there yet, or is that just general bulge?? Deep breaths.

Anyway, I guess this marks my second official pregnancy purchase, after the pseudo-informative book. What usually comes next, ladies? Stretch mark cream? Pre-natal yoga videos? I kinda just want to skip to ironic onesies — is that allowed?