Pulling the trigger!

So it’s Day 11 of my cycle, with counts as follows:

Estrogen: 13,521 (3,684 in U.S.)
LH: Don’t know, but it was 4 yesterday
Progesterone: Don’t know, but it was 9.5 yesterday

The nurse spoke WAY too fast on her message for me to write down all the follicle measurements, but I have three at 2.2 cm and a whole bunch of others from 1.9 down to 1.7, which I hope are still good. And I’m officially done with Gonal-f, hooray!

On my way out, the nurse said I should pick up my HCG and then bring it back to her so she could mix it up, put it in a syringe and have it all ready to go. So I did exactly that — except instead of putting the syringe in some sort of sterile container afterward, she placed it in this bizarre silver box that looked like it might contain a fancy necklace:


Um, is it just me, or does this look kinda hack? Like, I’m technically at one of the best clinics in the country… so… really?

Anyway, I got the follow-up call from the nurse just now and she said I have to trigger myself tonight at 9 p.m. ON THE DOT, go in tomorrow morning for bloodwork, and my retrieval will be happening on Wednesday at 9 a.m. Y’all, this is FOR REALS NOW!

Now, I don’t normally get stressed about medical procedures or pill-popping or jabbing myself with needles, but honestly, I’m fucking TERRIFIED about the retrieval process. I’m so worried my high blood pressure will go off the charts and screw things up, or that the Ativan will have its usual effect on me (ie. make my body sluggish while my head is still racing like crazy), or that I’ll be able to feel the huge needle go into my cervix/follicles, or that the pain meds will make me barf, etc. The only thing reassuring me right now is that my own doctor will be handling the retrieval and he is a very calm and relaxed and positive kind of person, which I’m hoping puts me at ease.

Maybe I can bring in my iPhone, which has a White Noise app that includes “soothing” sounds, one of my favourites being “kitten purring”, which totally calms my soul. Do you think the doctor and nurses would be distracted by the sound of purring during retrieval? I guess maybe that’s what headphones are for, right? Sigh……..